How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 13

Good openings for paraphrasing are:
- So you think, ….
- You don’t believe that …
- You don’t understand why …
- So, what you are saying is …
- Sounds to me like you ….
- The way you see things …
- To you, this means …
- So, you are saying that …
- I guess it is your opinion that …
- If I understand correctly …
- You’ve always thought …, but now you found out that …
Some manuals use the term “reflecting” to indicate reflection
of meaning (thoughts) only and use “paraphrasing” for
referring to reflecting thoughts AND emotions
5.

Reflecting - or Repeating Feelings - is very similar to
paraphrasing, but instead of reflecting the meaning, the
coach now reflects the emotions that are the basis of
coachee’s words. Reflecting feelings resorts a much
stronger effect, because coachee will experience that
the coach is not only understanding him, but is also
emphatizing with his feelings.
Reflecting feelings is the basis of emphatic listening and
creates rapport. Naming the feeling that you recognize
in their story, helps coachees to define and explore their
own feelings and become more aware of their
seriousness. Reflecting is very useful also when you feel
coachees are rattling information without feeling
involved.

321