How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 237

2.19 WHAT COACHING MODEL Effectively discover what is behind your behaviors. How? By finding out what may be driving HOW you do things. Perhaps you've heard that one of the surest ways of gaining insight into one's personality, behaviors or limiting beliefs is by asking questions of oneself. I'm sure you've been asked the who, why, when, where and how? I'm also sure that if you're like most people, you're likely to draw blanks more times than not. These days it's hard to keep track of even the simplest things, let alone trying to come up with answers to sometimes complex situations. It makes much more sense to focus on a specific question, I'll tell you why in a second. Let me ask you a question first, when you're asked to answer why, how does it make you feel? If I'm right, do you want to know why you feel that way? Hang on for a second... When someone asks us why we did something it normally brings up a funny reaction in us humans. You see, we want to be consistent with what we say or think and why tends to make us feel like we should justify ourselves, like we're being judged, and nobody likes that. What ends up happening is that we tend to cling to our views, blocking our ability to see other perspectives and perhaps limiting our growth. Something similar happens when we're asked how? On simple problems this question may be easily answered, but rarely is a 239