How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 89
Rule 4: Look for Mutual Benefits
You can look for mutual benefits by asking questions and trying to understand the other
person’s frame of reference. Unfortunately, in typical organizational life, this type of
conversation doesn’t happen as a matter of course. We often fail to take the time to find
out about another person’s interests, or we fail to imagine that we might have interests
in common.
But these are the prerequisites for finding solutions that are of mutual benefit: taking
time to find out about the other person’s interests and looking for common interests.
Remember the advice “Inquiry before advocacy”. Make sure you take time to listen
before you start selling your own ideas. You may find a lot of common ground on which
to build.
Looking for mutual benefit is one of the best ways in which to become someone’s ally,
and to allow them to become yours.
2. Understanding Your Potential Allies
Given the premise that we will be more effective with a mindset that others are our
allies, we need to become smarter about who those allies are and what they care about.
Another way of looking at the process of understanding your allies is simply this: You
want to make it as easy as possible for them to say “Yes” to you. This requires answers
to three questions:
Who are they?
What are their concerns, interests, and motivations?
How does my idea relate to their concerns?
First Question: Who Are Your Allies?
If you are trying to get an idea accepted, your allies might include people:
Who will or might be affected by your idea.
Whose cooperation or resources you need to implement your idea.
Who could benefit and those who could lose.
Who could block the idea.
Who could help get it accepted.
Allies include not only obvious supporters, but also those whose support you will need
but may not have from the outset.
Second Question: What Are Your Allies’ Concerns, Interests, and Motivations?
Knowing who your potential allies are is the first step in understanding them. Your next
challenge is to figure out how to influence them. One of the best ways to influence
others is to understand their world: their pressures, concerns, and perspectives.
A good example of this, on a broad scale, is the need to understand cultural differences
within your community. Cultural differences r Vf