How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 74

Tips for Balancing Inquiry and Advocacy
 Become aware of the gap between what you intend and what you actually do. (Notice
other people’s reactions to you: Are they what you expected? Why or why not?) Make an
effort to understand and begin to close this gap.
 Let go of the win/lose mindset of controlled discussion. Decide to learn from others.
 Make your thinking visible, and ask others to do the same. State your assumptions,
explain your reasoning, and give examples.
 Avoid defensiveness when your ideas are questioned.
 Be aware when you or others are jumping to conclusions.
 Gently walk others down the Ladder of Inference and find out what data they are
operating from. Use unaggressive language (e.g., “Can you help me understand your
thinking here?”).
 Listen without resistance. Hear ideas as if for the first time.
 Respect differences.
 Suspend role and status during dialogue; let leadership become a shared
responsibility of the whole group.
 Try to bring forward people who have not spoken, and prompt them to add their
views.
 Take risks by participating and being willing to make mistakes. Speak from your own
experience.
 When advocating, stay open and encourage others to give different views.
 If you notice that a discussion is lopsided, let the group know what you’ve observed.
Help the group to balance inquiry and advocacy by making your own contributions in a
way that creates more balance.