How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 51

When you see Anger and Justice Seeking (let's get 'em!)...
Listen, then paraphrase for understanding. That is, make sure that you understand what
they are really saying and feeling; and let people know that they are, in fact, heard.
Listen for real. I've gotta emphasize this one. Too many of us are street-smart from too
many active listening workshops. Faking empathy is easy. Being believed isn't - unless
we are acting in a truthful way.
Ask people what they want to do to move on. Help people get into an active mode. And
help them realize that, while you are there to help, moving on is their responsibility.
When you realize people are Fatigued or even Depressed...
Prevent "ain't it awful " sessions while acknowledging the validity of how they feel.
Be quick to tell people when they are doing the right things.
Discourage rash statements or behavior. Allow that, while it might seem a satisfying
exercise, it will hurt them - and their colleagues and family.
Focus on short-term, focused tasks where people can get a sense of success. And
another. And another. Even if a large project is mandatory, take time to break it into
chunks. Let's face it: none of us needs one more thing to make us feel overwhelmed if
we're already feeling overwhelmed.
If someone truly exhibits verbal or behavioral tendencies that are abnormal, don't ignore
it. Name it, ask what the person is doing about it, and wait to hear a substantive
answer. If you don't get one, talk with HR or your employee assistance program rep
about what to do next if you don't already know.
Note: In 30+ years of business and business consulting, I've never seen anyone commit
a violent or hurtful act during a large-scale change. It does happen. I have, though,
often discovered instances of people taking their anger and depression home and
causing great turmoil in their families - a cycle which impacts the workplace and the
well-being of spouses and children.
When people are confronted with a description of their observed rash behavior, they
often drop their head - or smile - and say, "You're right. I'm glad somebody finally said
something." Healthy people understand that being confronted with the truth is an act of
caring.
After one "bottoms out" and moves further along the curve toward meaningful action,
other things happen: