How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills

3. Linguistic tools for influencing Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) was created in the 1970s by two US Academics – Richard Bandler & John Grinder – as a method of personal change and communication. In this chapter, we will examine a series of methods that will help you to: • Direct a conversation without dominating it • Influence how others see a situation • Persuade others to come to your point of view These techniques are subtle, but they are effective when they are used with intention and with skill. 1. Reframing Reframing is the process of making a shift in the nature of a problem. It is the process of changing a negative statement into a positive one by changing the “frame” or reference used to interpret the experience. If all meaning is context dependent, and if you change the context or content, then you will also change the meaning. All content is re-framable simply by changing the structure, the process, or the context. You can use this knowledge to help reframe how the other person sees a situation as well. By doing so, you can set the stage for persuading them to come to agreement with you. The basis of reframing is to separate intention from behavior and consequence so that you can then draw a correlation between them as part of your persuasive argument. Intention is the opposite of consequence. It is how you precede an action or behavior and consequence is what happens at the end of the action. Consequences can be either positive or negative. In order to reframe something, you have several options. You can: • Redefine the words • Change the time frame • Explore the consequences • Change the chunk size • Find a counter-example • Ask for evidence • Appeal to the positive intention behind the belief • Change the context so that the relationship doesn’t apply in the same way Here is an example. As you read this text, imagine that you have had the following thought: “Learning Influencing and Persuasion Skills is hard”

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