How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 153
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“If you talk Win/Win but reward Win/Lose you’ve got a losing program on
your hands,” (229).
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Process for creating a Win/Win organization:
Understand the problem from the other view
Identify the key issues and concerns (not positions)
Determine what results would constitute and acceptable solution
Identify options to achieve the desired results
Chapter 8: Habit 5, Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
“Unless you are influenced by my uniqueness, I’m not going to be influenced by
your advice (239).” Too often we proscribe before gaining enough understanding
to diagnose.
Effective communication
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Rephrase their content and reflect their feelings. You must show you
caught their emotion and their words. Understand people emotionally!
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Ethos, Pathos, Logos Sequence: Communication starts with your credibility,
grasps the other’s concerns/wants, and then gives a logical response that
addresses those concerns.
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Effective business transactions often come down to communicating an
understanding of the other’s needs and then honestly explaining to what
extent you can meet those needs.
Chapter 9: Habit 6, Synergize
1+1=3 or 4. Covey’s “synergy” philosophy teaches that two people, perspectives,
or thoughts can be pooled together to create something entirely different and
notably better than the summation of individuality. This is essentially the
Buddhist teach on the “middle way” – middle is not the compromise, but the
higher point between the two, for example the apex of a triangle.
Our ability to Synergize comes down to how we proportionately value one thought
vs. another. If you are extremely confident in your ability to make proper
assessments and plans, you will not sense a need for help from everyone else that
is “off track” and therefore will not synergize. For Synergy to happen we must
believe that another person is extremely valuable in working with us to create
success in that they represent experiences and perspectives that I will never be
able to take into account all on my own.
Do not press your mold on another, do not accept another’s mold for yourself;
work with them to create a new mold superior to either.