How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 124

1. Reality testing
What is my evidence for and against my thinking?
Why “should” I always be the best?, Why “must” everybody like me?
Where is it written? Who said so?
Am I jumping to negative conclusions?
How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true?
2. Look for alternative explanations
Does this belief ALWAYS hold true for me? When did it not?
Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation?
What else could this mean?
If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?
3. Putting it in perspective
Does this belief look at the total picture?
What is the worst and what the best thing that could happen?
Is there anything good about this situation?
Will this matter in five years’ time?
4. Using goal-directed thinking
Is this way of thinking helping me to achieve my goals?
Does This belief promote my well being?
What can I do that will help me solve the problem?
Is there something I can learn from this situation, to help me do it better next
time?
5. Did I choose this belief on my own or did I develop it from my experience of
childhood?
Many of our mistaken beliefs are formed due to our upbringing and the kind of
messages we got during our growing up. It is important to let go of the past and
focus on what can be done in the present to deal with situations versus letting
these mistaken beliefs take control of you.
Why “should” I always be the best?, Why “must” everybody like me?
Why “can’t” I …?
Where is it written? Who said so?
It is important to mention here that once you have challenged the mistaken belief, it is
very crucial to use an affirmation to reinforce your newly formed belief about the
situation, person and event.