How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 122

d) If someone I deeply care for rejects me, that will be most unfortunate; but I will
hardly die!
e) Even though I have not had much luck in winning great love in the past, that hardly
proves that I must gain it now.
f) No evidence exists for any absolutistic must. Consequently, no proof exists that I must
always have anything, including love.
g) Many people exist in the world who never get the kind of love they crave and who still
lead happy lives.
h) At times during my life I know that I have remained unloved and happy; so I most
probably can feel happy again under unloving conditions.
i) If I get rejected by someone for whom I truly care, that may mean that I possess
some poor, unlovable traits. But that hardly means that I am a rotten, worthless, totally
unlovable individual.
j)Even if I had such poor traits that no one could ever love me, I would still not have to
down myself as a lowly, bad individual.
4. DOES ANY EVIDENCE EXIST OF THE TRUTH OF THIS BELIEF?
Illustrative answer: No, not really. Considerable evidence exists that if I love someone
dearly and never am loved in return that I will then find myself disadvantaged,
inconvenienced, frustrated, and deprived. I certainly would prefer, therefore, not to get
rejected. But no amount of inconvenience amounts to a horror. I can still stand
frustration and loneliness. They hardly make the world awful. Nor does rejection make
me a turd! Clearly, then, no evidence exists that I must receive love from someone for
whom I really care.
5. WHAT ARE THE WORST THINGS THAT COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN TO ME IF I DON'T
GET WHAT I THINK I MUST (OR DO GET WHAT I THINK I MUST NOT GET)?
Illustrative answer: If I don't get the love I think I must receive:
a) I would get deprived of various possible pleasures and conveniences.
b) I would feel inconvenienced by having to keep looking for love elsewhere.
c) I might never gain the love I want, and thereby continue indefinitely to feel deprived
and disadvantaged.
d) Other people might down me and consider me pretty worthless for getting rejectedand that would be annoying and unpleasant.
e) I might settle for pleasures other than and worse than those I could receive in a good
love relationship; and I would find that distinctly undesirable.
f) I might remain alone much of the time; which again would be unpleasant.
g) Various other kinds of ֗6f