How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 396
that when two people get together and talk, they both walk away with two
completely different views about the conversation?
Top Five Challenges to Listening Effectively
Thinking About Our Response. Instead of thinking about what the
other person is saying, we often think about what we personally
want to say next or where we want the conversation to lead. We
are mentally planning our own agenda and game plan. In effect,
we patiently wait our turn to talk but we never have give and take
between the two parties.
Not Concentrating. We talk at a rate of 120 to 150 words per
minute, but we can think 400 to 800 words per minute. This
allows us time to think in between words that are being said. We
can pretend to listen while really thinking of something else.
Jumping to Conclusions. Sometimes we assume we know exactly
what the other person is going to say next and we begin forming
reactions based on those assumptions. We start putting words into
the other speaker's mouth because we are so sure of what they
mean.
Prejudging Speakers on Their Delivery and Personal Appearance.
We often judge people by the way they look or speak instead of
listening to what they say. Some people are so put off by personal
appearance, regional accents, speech defects, and mannerisms that
they don't even try to listen to the message.
Lack of Training. Some people just honestly and truly don't know
how to listen effectively, even if they want to. If they haven't ever
had any training or guidance in how to listen effectively, they
may not be accustomed to or even realize the mental effort or
level of involvement really required to do so. If you know how to
listen, you'll always know what someone is thinking and what
they want from you.
Listed below are the insider secrets for effective listening. Follow these
guidelines, and you'll always be able to get below the surface of your
audience:
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