How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 358

Acceptance
Closely related to praise is acceptance. We all long for acceptance. We
want to feel like our actions and contributions help an effort or cause. We
want to be noticed by others. We all want to be someone of significance
who is held in high regard. Knowing this, you can help your listeners and
prospects feel that their help is appreciated, that they are personally
accepted, and that their contributions are essential. When they feel
accepted unconditionally, with no strings attached, their doubts, fears, and
inadequacies will go out the window. Be kind, don't patronize, and be
genuine in your acceptance — have it come from your heart. When that
sense of belonging is established, you have tapped into a basic human
need.
Have you ever watched a politician on the campaign trail? You always see
it on television. Amidst the throngs of people, the candidate strives to
shake hands and look into the eyes of as many individual people as
possible. He wants his supporters to feel that their individual efforts
contribute to the cause, that without their help, the cause would be lost.
This personal touch boosts morale so that everyone wants to help out and
will not rest until the candidate who reached out and shook their hand
secures the victory.
Never criticize people you want to persuade or influence. It damages your
relationship and destroys the connection you have with them. Instead, use
praise and appreciatio