How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Página 357

Praise can also cause people to change their minds. In another study,
student essays were randomly given high or low marks. When surveyed,
the students who had gotten A's tended to lean even more favorably in the
direction of the positions they had advocated in their essays. Students who
had received failing marks, however, did not stand behind their previous
positions as willingly.
When we show people that they are important, we can persuade them to
do many things. In elementary schools, teachers will dub a child to be the
king or queen for the day. The king receives a crown and the other
students write notes of praise. Children keep these sayings for years to
come, proof that no matter our age, we crave praise, recognition, and
acceptance. For example, Andrew Carnegie devised a plan to sell his steel
to the Pennsylvania Railroad. When he built a new steel mill in
Pittsburgh, he named it the J. Edgar Thompson Steel Works, after the
president of the Pennsylvania Railroad. Thompson was so flattered by the
honor that he thereafter purchased steel exclusively from Carnegie.
The greatest car salesman in the world sends 13,000 former customers a
card every month that simply says, "I like you," and then signs his name.
You can calculate the expense, but this is the backbone of his business.
No one has sold more cars than Joe Girard.
Of course, there is an opposite effect that also lasts a lifetime. I heard a
story of a young lady who wanted to learn how to dance. She went to take
lessons but she was having a hard time. The dance steps were unfamiliar
and awkward for someone who had never danced before. The instructor
gave her a few lessons and then unsympathetically said, "You dance like a
hippo. You will never be a good dancer." This one comment kept the
young lady off the dance floor for the rest of her life.
One negative comment has more power than ten positive comments. I can
give a give seminar and have twenty people come up to me and praise me.
But it is the one person in the front row, the one who had a sour face the
whole time, whom I will remember. Just keep in mind that the use of
praise affects the very core of our beings, so use it with caution.
[12]D. Drachman, A. DeCarufel, and C. Insko, "The Extra Credit Effect in InterPersonal Attraction," Journal of Experimental Social Psychology (1978): 458–
467.
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