How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 355

they did to deserve the compliment. Then they feel pressure to live up to
the standard you have set, even though they're not sure how or why it was
set. They may even subconsciously fear that you will retract the praise
because they don't know how to keep it. Things really backfire when that
person feels mistrustful toward you. Did you ever witness coworkers
gathering to complain after a "pep rally" with the boss? Instead of feeling
inspired and motivated, everyone griped about how the boss was full of it.
Of course, during the meeting, everyone played along, because it was
their job and they had to listen. When a boss asks you to do something
you do it because you have to. When someone has influence or is a leader
you do it because you want to.
So how do you effectively give someone a compliment they can live up to
without feeling anxiety? Instead of barking at your assistant, "Why
haven't you finished these files?" say, "Thank you so much for helping me
get these files done! I know I can count on you get them done in a timely
manner." Because the latter statement incorporates your assistant's
behavior into how you view her, you can be sure she'll follow through.
Consciously or subconsciously, she will want to maintain the apparent
image you have of her. Consequently she will continue that pattern of
behavior so as not to disappoint you.
As a manager or supervisor, your responsibility to praise and recognize
your employees is paramount. Regularly communicate the organization's
changing objectives and priorities and show employees you feel they are
important enough to be aligned with your goals. Invite new ideas from
workers, stressing that there are always better ways to do every task. Trust
workers by delegating responsibilities that give growth opportunities.
Check with employees to determine what extra time or equipment they
need, and work to provide them with these requests. Be fair to all. Playing
favorites undermines morale. Praise each employee for any job well done;
doing so orally is okay, but putting it in writing is even better. Want to
know another plus? Sincere praise costs your organization absolutely
nothing!
Effects of Praise
You know people are more likely to be persuaded to say "yes" when you
make them feel good about themselves, their work, and their
accomplishments. People will do almost anything for you when you treat
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