How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 354

releases energy in the other person. You have seen it and experienced it
yourself. When you receive sincere compliments or praise, you get a
smile on your face, your spirits soar, and you have a new aura about you.
Praise Others Daily
I think of all the funerals I have attended, and how all of them ended with
beautiful eulogies. Why do we have to wait until someone is dead to say
something nice about them? As Ralph Waldo Emerson put it, "Every man
is entitled to be valued by his best moments." Men will sacrifice their
lives for praise, honor, and recognition. We crave and yearn for a boost to
our esteem. We all wear an imaginary badge that says, "Please make me
feel important." It is criminal to withhold our praise when we see
someone, especially children, do great and honorable things. Yet then
when they do something wrong, we jump down their throats. Have you
ever thought about how we would never think of physically harming
someone or depriving them of food and water, yet often without
reservation we hurt someone emotionally or deprive them of love and
appreciation? George Bernard Shaw said, "The worst sin toward our
fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them." We
should make it a habit to give genuine praise to someone every day. Don't
wait for a reason or for something big to happen. Be generous with your
praise. Praise makes others more open to persuasion.
How to Give Sincere Praise
Always be sincere. Even the most cunning flatterer is ultimately detected
and discovered. Complimenting someone sincerely for something small is
better than complimenting someone insincerely for something big and
grand. If, instead of being constantly self-focused, we are attentive to
others, we will always find building moments where we can deliver
honest and sincere praise. Even Napoleon figured out that men will die for
blue ribbons. Men will sacrifice their lives for praise, honor, and
recognition.
Often it is more effective to praise the specific act rather than the person.
This way, your praise is attached to something distinct and concrete. It is
harder to be interpreted as flattery or favoritism when there is a specific
and concrete thing you have praised. General compliments may have
temporary effect, but can incite jealousy from others and create even more
insecurity in the recipient because that person is often not really sure what
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