How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Seite 311

will follow through. Using phrases such as "You're the kind of person
who . . ." or "You've always impressed me with your ability to . . ." or
"I've always liked the fact that you . . ." invoke the powerful
psychological Rule of internal consistency. Winston Churchill, one of the
greatest masters in dealing with people, said, "I have found that the best
way to get another to acquire a virtue, is to impute it to him."
When people are aware of the good or bad opinions other people have
about them, they usually live up to those opinions. This is why we act out
the roles assigned to us. If we receive praise, we want to be worthy of that
praise. There was a police officer who always seemed to be able to get
even the toughest criminals to open up and tell him everything. His
technique was to tell the criminal, "I know you have a reputation for being
the tough guy who's been in a lot of trouble, but everyone tells me the one
thing that stands out about you is that you never lie. They tell me that
whatever you say, it's always the truth, no matter what."
Honestly assess how you think you make others feel when they're around
you. Do you make them feel small and unimportant, or do you inspire
them to achieve more? Your actions towards others will tell them how
you feel or think about them. The German writer and poet Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe once stated, "Treat a man as he appears to be and
you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he
potentially could be, and you make him what he should be."
First Impression Expectations
Have you ever noticed how the people you assume are going to be jerks
turn out to be just that? And if there is someone you're especially excited
to meet, then you meet her and she seems great! Often our assumptions
and expectations about someone we're about to meet for the first time play
out exactly as we've already mentally conceived them. Once again, even
when first meeting someone, you will send subconscious messages about
how they are to respond and behave.
In a particular study, a group of high school students were brought
together to hear a speech on how the minimum driving age should be
raised. Half the students were told to focus on the speaker's speaking
style, while the others were forewarned that the speaker considered
teenagers to be horrible drivers. Two weeks after the presentation, the
students were asked to fill out a questionnaire. Overall, the first group
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