How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 270

speak positively when accepting responsibility. Instead of saying, "That's
not my problem. You'll have to talk to someone else," they would say, "I'll
have the person responsible give you a call."
Emotion-Packed Words
The words we use can hurt others and cause tension and resentment.
Words can even cause wars. Humans tend to create and use words that
hurt or label. Hitler used labeling and name-calling during his rule in
Germany. He called the Jews many negative things, including "vermin",
"sludge", "garbage", "lice", "sewage", and "insects." Labels also extend
far beyond the names people are given, into the way we describe things in
a negative light, such as "broken home," "single-parent family," or
"blended family." Whereas we think of theses terms as essentially neutral,
the words can carry significant negative weight to those people to whom
the terms apply.
As you design your persuasive message, you must consider the emotional
impact of each word and phrase. When you want to create emotion,
choose words that will trigger feelings. If you want to downplay the event
or situation, use an unemotional word. Notice the following words
generally have the same definition but carry different emotional weight,
for example, calling someone "thrifty" versus "cheap," "traditional" versus
"old-fashioned," "extroverted" versus "loud," "careful" versus "cowardly,"
and "eccentric" versus "strange."
There are many words that are emotionally loaded and represent different
values to different people. These words can get people to pay attention
and alert them to know what significance the message has for them. It is
hard to find a neutral word. Your word choice will paint different pictures
for different people because the way we define words is based on our
belief systems, our past experiences, and our social roles. The beliefs we
hold about a word will dictate our actions and how we respond. For
example, some cultures view death as a celebration of life; others view
death as a tragedy.
Sometimes, if used improperly, positive words can still lead to a negative
response. For this reason, persuaders will often avoid certain words,
although generally positive, and instead use words that may still bear
positive associations, but are more ambiguous. For example, in the world
of politics we hear phrases like "freedom of choice," "fiscal
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