How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | страница 237

Usually, as long as most people agree with what we are doing or about to do, we feel social validation. For the most part, we are all conformists. We will do what the crowd does. We might not like to admit that, but it is true. Only 5 to 10 percent of the population engages in behavior contrary to the social norm. We see this law operating in groups, in organizations, in meetings, and in day-to-day public life. In all of these circumstances, there is a certain standard or norm. In churches, the moral code determines the standard behavior acceptable for the group. In organizations, the bylaws and years of tradition establish a standard operating procedure. Because we want to fit into these groups and maintain our membership with them, we conform our actions to the norm. When we find ourselves in a foreign situation where we feel awkward or unsure of how to act, we look for those social cues that will dictate our behavior. [4] This could be at a party, during freshman orientation, while attending a family gathering, or on one's first day on the job in a new company. When the social information we are seeking is at all ambiguous, we don't know how to respond and thus continue seeking out social clues. Imagine if you were sitting in the movie theater enjoying your show when somebody shouted, "FIRE!" Do you think you would jump up and run for it? Well, if everyone else did, you would, too. If everyone remained seated, you would remain seated also. [2]Douglas Rushkoff, Coercion: Why We Listen to What They Say (New York: Riverhead Books, 1999), p. 123. [3]M. Sherif, The Psychology of Social Norms (New York: Harper, 1936). [4]A. Tesser, J. Campbell, and S. Mickler, "The Role of Social Pressure, Attention to the Stimulus, and Self-Doubt in Conformity," European Journal of Social Psychology, (1983): 217–233. The Rule of Social Validation at Work The Rule of Social Validation is in action all the time, everywhere: publicly passing the donation plate to help with a community project; 237