How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Seite 235

Chapter 6
The Rule of Social Validation
The Art of Social Pressure
Overview
The greatest difficulty is that men do not think enough of themselves, do
not consider what it is that they are sacrificing when they follow a herd.
—RALPH WALDO EMERSON
We are social animals. We all have an innate desire to belong to a social
group. It is precisely because we value this sense of belonging so highly
that the more other people find an idea, trend, or position appealing or
correct, the more correct that idea becomes in our own minds. The Rule of
Social Validation recognizes and builds on our innate desire to be part of
the main group. It also recognizes that we tend to change our perceptions,
opinions, and behaviors in ways that are consistent with group norms.[1]
Even if we don't admit it, or maybe even realize it, we care about what
others think. As such, we use others' behavior as a guide in establishing
the standard for the choices and decisions we make.
We seek to find out what others are doing as a way of validating our own
actions. This method is how we decide what constitutes "correct"
behavior. We see the behavior as more correct when we see others doing
it. The more people do it, the more correct it becomes. Professor Kirk
Hansen of the Stanford Business School demonstrated this when he
boosted downloads for best-selling files on the Web by personally
downloading those files over and over so the counter was artificially high.
He and his team then observed that these boosted downloaded files were
downloaded even more frequently. The high number on the counter
indicated popularity, and people were most interested in downloading the
files that were already ranked the highest. Whether the question is what to
do with an empty can of soda at the park, how fast to drive in the city, or
how to eat the soup at a restaurant, the validation of others gives us our
answers and therefore guides our actions.

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