How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 122

The First Law of Influence
Influence attempts may fail for many legitimate reasons
Some books claim that if you follow their principles you can influence
anyone to do anything. According to these authors, you can get anyone to
like you, love you, and find you irresistibly attractive. Wow! They assert
that you can take control of any situation, win at every competition, and
gain the upper hand every time. One book, written for men wanting to
pick up women, boasts that by following its mystery methods you can get
beautiful women into bed. Another boldly proclaims that you can get
anyone to say yes in eight minutes or less. When I read claims like these I
am reminded of a saying attributed to Abraham Lincoln: “You can fool
some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time,
but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.”
The idea that you can
influence anyone to do
anything is nonsense. There
are many reasons why
people may not be moved by
or even be aware of your
influence attempt. In his
book What Leaders Really
Do, John Kotter explores
why people may not respond
to a manager’s influence
attempts: “Some people
may
be
uncooperative
because they are too busy
elsewhere,
and
some
because they are not really
capable of helping. Others
may well have goals, values,
and beliefs that are quite
different and in conflict with
the manager’s and may
therefore have no desire
whatsoever to help or
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