How to Coach Yourself and Others From Dependency to Inter Dependency

STEPHEN R. COVEY (1989) THE SEVEN (+1) HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE POWERFUL LESSONS IN PERSONAL CHANGE ===================================== What we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. PARADIGMS = ‘THINKFRAMES’ Each of us has many maps in our head: maps of the way things are (realities) and maps of the way things should be (values). We interpret everything we experience through these mental maps. Yet, the map is not the territory. A map is simply an explanation, or model of something else. We seldom question the accuracy of our maps; we’re usually even unaware that we have them. We simply assume that the way we see things, is the way they really are and that everybody should see them that way. We think we are objective, and our attitudes and behaviours grow out of those assumptions. But in reality, we see the world, not as it is, bus as we are – or, as we are conditioned to see it, each of us looking through the unique lens of personal experience. The way we see things is the source of the way we think and the way we act. Yet two people can see the same thing and interpret it in a totally different way. Hence, two people can see the same thing, disagree, and yet both be right. Like with the picture of the woman, who according to some is about 25 years old, and according to others is about 70. It’s not logical – it’s psychological PRINCIPLES Principles are deep, fundamental truths that have universal application. Fairness, integrity, honesty, human dignity, service (making a contribution), quality of excellence, potential (the ability to grow and develop talents), patience, nurturance, encouragement, … exist in all human beings, in all cultures, religions, philosophies and ethical systems. The degree to which people recognize them and live in harmony with them, move them toward either survival and stability, or disintegration and destruction. People that are faced with the prospect of early death tend to discover that the dominant, central theme of their life, the underlying basic principle, is LOVE. VALUES Principles are no values. A gang of thieves can share values, but they are in violation of the fundamental principles. Principles are the territory. Values are the maps. When we value correct principles, we have TRUTH: knowledge of things as they are.

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