How to Coach Yourself and Others From Dependency to Inter Dependency

2. FROM INDEPENDENCE TO INTERDEPENDENCE ============================================================== Unless we first achieve real independence, it’s foolish to try to develop human-relations skills: interdepence is a choice only independent people can make. As we become independent, that is: proactive, centred in correct principles, value-driven and able to organize and execute with integrity around the priorities of our life, we then can choose to become interdependent: capable of building rich, enduring, highly productive relationships with other people. In a relationship, in order to feel safe with each other, we need to build a reserve of TRUST and to sustain it by continuing deposits through positive attention, respect, courtesy, kindness and keeping our commitments. When the Emotional Deposit Account, or Trust Account, is high, one can call upon it whenever necessary. It compensates for errors and makes communication easy and effective. Our most constant relationships require our most constant deposits. You need a positive balance to communicate on tender issues. If you have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting the other off, overreacting, ignoring, being arbitrary, threatening or playing little tin god, very soon your Trust Account will be overdrawn and you’ll be walking on minefields. Building and repairing relationships take time. There is no such thing as a Quick Fix. Here are six major deposits that build a Trust Account: 1. What is important to the other person must be as important to you as the other person is to you. This paves the way to bonding experiences in which you invest time, interest and energy in subjects and activities that matter to the other. 2. In relationships, the little things are big things: little kindnesses and courtesies are so important. Small discourtesies, little unkindnesses and little forms of disrespect on the other hand, make large withdrawals. 3. Keeping commitments and promises are major deposits, but there’s probably not a more massive withdrawal than to make a promise and then not come through. 4. Clarifying Expectations is very importan

How to Coach Yourself and Others From Dependency to Inter Dependency | Page 14