How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 581

 List all the issues which are important to both sides and identify the
key issues. Identify any personal agendas. Question generalisations
and challenge assumptions.
 Identify any areas of common ground.
 Understand any outside forces that may be affecting the problem.
 Keep calm and use assertive rather than aggressive behaviour. Use
tact and diplomacy to diffuse tensions.
 Remember :NO is a little word with big power!
 Use both verbal and non-verbal persuasion skills. Use open,
encouraging body language such as mirroring, not defensive or
closed.
 Know when to compromise. Offer concessions where necessary, but
minor ones at first. Distinguish between needs: important points on
which you can't compromise and interests where you can concede
ground. Allow the other party to save face if necessary via small
concessions.
 Make sure there is an agreed deadline for resolution
 Decide on a course of action and come to an agreement.
 The final agreement needs to be summarised and written down at
the conclusion of the negotiations.
 Plan for alternative outcomes if you can't reach agreement.
Jennifer Chatman (University of California, Berkeley) developed
experiments in which she tried to find a point at which flattery became
ineffective. She found out that there wasn’t one!
Of course, flattery based on round the positive attributes and deeds of
other people is much more likely to be helpful and effective, and you
will feel better about it too!

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