How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 488

13. Identify and Eliminate Your Triggers
Sit down and brainstorm a list of reminders and activities that will
trigger this negative emotion in us. It might be hearing the word
‘divorce’, or someone’s name, or going to a particular restaurant.
Commit to yourself to eliminate the mentioning of these triggers from
your life. If we know something will upset us, why would we bother
triggering it?
14. Identify What Anger Brings
List all the things that you’ve gained as a result of being angry. When
you’re done, go down this list and count the number of positive things
that are actually conducive to your wellbeing. By the way, “making the
other person suffer and feel pain” does not count as “conducive to your
wellbeing”.
This exercise helps us bring more awareness, rationality and clarity into
the situation.
15. Seek Closure. Solve the Problem
To the best of your ability, do not drag anything on for the sake of
“winning” or “being right”; it’s not healthy for anyone involved.
Just because we surrender to the external events and choose not to give
them any more attention, does not mean that we sit back passively to let
others step all over us.
Take action that will help you move onto the next step, and closer to
resolution. Be proactive and thoughtful. The faster you can get the
problem resolved, the quicker you can set yourself free, mentally.

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