How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Seite 461
to schedule some anger management counseling or an anger
management program today!
What to say to an angry person?
A good thing to say is,
1. "Wow! I can see that you are really angry right now. Your anger
seems really strong to me.
2. I'm sure you have good reasons to be angry.
3. It's okay for you to be angry, I just want to help you deal with it so
nobody gets hurt--including you.
"In these and other words, you're sending the message that, "There's
nothing wrong with feeling anger, the important thing is what you
do with it."
This type of acknowledgment and recognition of the emotion of
anger is absolutely necessary in successful anger management.
Practice reflective listening. - Repeat back what you hear them
saying in a non-judgmental, soothing tone.
Use phrases like:
"So what I hear you saying is..." or "So you're saying..." + then say
exactly what you heard them saying.
Stick with their words and references, using as little interpretation
and as few of your own words as possible.
You must show total respect to the teen for this to work. Sarcasm,
cynicism, judgment or insincerity will completely defeat your
purpose. Use an open, friendly posture so that it is clear that you
really want to understand the other.
This provides a comforting effect, and lets the know they're being
heard.
When you listen, you are sending the powerful nonverbal message
that, "What you think and feel matters to me. I may not agree or like
what you say, but I'm willing to listen and consider your viewpoint."
The bottom line here is that if you listen to them, they will listen to
you!
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