How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 432
What kind of a relationship do you have with your emotions?
Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion
after another as your experiences change from moment to
moment?
Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you
experience in places like your stomach or chest?
Do you experience discrete feelings and emotions, such as anger,
sadness, fear, joy, each of which is evident in subtle facial
expressions?
Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to
capture both your attention and that of others?
Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your
decision making?
If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, your emotions may be turned
down or turned off. In order to be emotionally healthy and emotionally
intelligent, you must reconnect to your core emotions, accept them, and
become comfortable with them.
Emotional intelligence skill (EQ) 3: Nonverbal communication
Being a good communicator requires more than just verbal skills.
Oftentimes, what we say is less important than how we say it or the
other nonverbal signals we send out. In order to hold the attention of
others and build connection and trust, we need to be aware of and in
control of our nonverbal cues. We also need to be able to accurately read
and respond to the nonverbal cues that other people send us.
Nonverbal communication is the third skill of emotional intelligence.
This wordless form of communication is emotionally driven. It asks the
questions: “Are you listening?” and “Do you understand and care?”
Answers to these questions are expressed in the way we listen, look,
move, and react. Our nonverbal messages will produce a sense of
interest, trust, excitement, and desire for connection–or they will
generate fear, confusion, distrust, and disinterest.
Part of improving nonverbal communication involves paying attention
to:
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Eye contact