How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 429
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) vs. Intellectual Intelligence (IQ)
Most of us have learned not to trust our emotions. We've been told
emotions distort the more “accurate” information our intellect supplies.
Even the term “emotional” has come to mean weak, out of control, and
even childish. "Don't be a baby!" we say to the little boy who is crying on
the playground. "Leave him alone! Let him work it out!" we admonish
the little girl who runs to help the little boy.
On the other hand, our abilities to memorize and problem-solve, to spell
words and do mathematical calculations, are easily measured on written
tests and slapped as grades on report cards. Ultimately, these intellectual
abilities dictate which college will accept us and which career paths
we‘re advised to follow.
However, intellectual intelligence (IQ) is usually less important in
determining how successful we are than emotional intelligence (EQ). We
all know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept
and unsuccessful. What they are missing is emotional intelligence.
Emotional development: How to raise your emotional intelligence
Most of us know that there is a world of difference between knowledge
and behavior, or applying that knowledge to make changes in our lives.
There are many things we may know and want to do, but don’t or can’t
when we’re under pressure. This is especially true when it comes to
emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is not learned in the standard intellectual way; it
must be learned and understood on an emotional level. We can’t simply
read about emotional intelligence or master it through memorization. In
order to learn about emotional intelligence in a way that produces
change, we need to engage the emotional parts of the brain in ways that
connect us to others. This kind of learning is based on what we see, hear,
and feel. Intellectual understanding is an important first step, but the
development of emotional intelligence depends on sensory, nonverbal
learning and real-life practice.
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