How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 153

2. Wait it Out
Sometimes I feel compelled to instantly send an email defending
myself. I’ve learned that emotionally charged emails never get us
the result we want; they only add oil to the fire. What is helpful is
inserting time to allow ourselves to cool off. You can write the
emotionally charged email to the person, just don’t send it off.
Wait until you’ve cooled off before responding, if you choose to
respond at all.
3. “Does it really matter if I am right?“
Sometimes we respond with the intention of defending the side
we took a position on. If you find yourself arguing for the sake of
being right, ask “Does it matter if I am right?” If yes, then ask
“Why do I need to be right? What will I gain?“
4. Don’t Respond
Many times when a person initiates a negative message or
difficult attitude, they are trying to trigger a response from you.
When we react, we are actually giving them what they want.
Let’s stop the cycle of negative snowballing and sell them short
on what they’re looking for; don’t bother responding.
5. Stop Talking About It
When you have a problem or a conflict in your life, don’t you find
that people just love talking about it? We end up repeating the
story to anyone who’ll listen. We express how much we hate the
situation or person. What we fail to recognize in these moments
is that the more we talk about something, the more of that thing
we’ll notice.
Example, the more we talk about how much we dislike a person,
the more hate we will feel towards them and the more we’ll
notice things about them that we dislike. Stop giving it energy,
stop thinking about it, and stop talking about it. Do your best to
not repeat the story to others.
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