How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 128

5. Compromising is intermediate in both assertiveness and
cooperativeness. When compromising, the objective is to find
an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially
satisfies both parties. Compromising falls on a middle ground
between competing and accommodating, giving up more than
competing but less than accommodating. Likewise, it
addresses an issue more directly than avoiding, but doesn’t
explore it in as much depth as collaborating. Compromising
might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions,
or seeking a quick middle-ground position.
"What is the correct handling mode?"
In the case of conflict-handling behavior, there are no right or
wrong handling modes. All five modes are useful in some
situations: each represents a set of useful social skills. Our
conventional wisdom recognizes, for example, that often "Two
heads are better than one" (Collaborating). But it also says, "Kill
your enemies with kindness" (Accommodating), "Split the
difference" (Compromising), "Leave well enough alone"
(Avoiding), and "Might makes right" (Competing). The
effectiveness of a given conflict-handling mode depends upon
the requirements of the specific conflict situation and the skill
with which you use that mode.
You are capable of using all five conflict-handling modes: you
cannot be characterized as having a single, rigid style of dealing
with conflict. However, it may be possible that you use some
modes more readily than others and therefore tend to rely upon
those modes more heavily. The conflict behaviors you use are the
result of both your personal predispositions and the
requirements of the situations in which you find yourself. Also,
your social skills may lead you to rely upon some conflict
behaviors more or less than others.

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