How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 21

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! 3. Building Rapport We all know that “A man convinced against his will, remains of the same opinion still ..” That is why every salesor hypnosis course and every article about dating will tell you that you need to start with creating as much rapport as possible. Only after you have created sufficiently emotional connection and trust, will the other person feel comfortable enough to actually listen to you, and accept and emotionally respond to images that you are describing. How to create rapport? Creating rapport is about establishing a tangible and harmonious link by getting on the same wavelength with another person. You know there is rapport when everything clicks and feels right, when it is as if you know and understand each other and your ideas are synchronized. When there is rapport, you feel bonded, connected and enjoy time together. Link yourself with people and things the other person knows about and likes. Make them talk about subjects that are familiar and enjoyable to them. Search for common ground. If they like gardening and you do too, then tell and show hem how much you enjoy gardening. 1. You can develop rapport faster by paying attention to body language, mirroring and matching and empathic listening. Body language  Reading body language correctly enables you to identify the individual’s emotions and discomfort.  Using body language appropriately, including eye-contact and touch, helps you to get the attention desired and can create a positive perception. Be conscious of your body language. When meeting people for the first time, it’s obviously important that you appear relaxed and open in your stance and that you make good eye contact. As the conversation goes on, it can also help to mirror the body language of the person you’re speaking to, not in an obvious way, but in a way that gives the impression that you’re “in synch” with each other. Make sure as well that you’re focused on the person that you’re talking to, not looking around the room, which can give the impression that you’re looking for someone more interesting to talk to. Mirroring and matching A/ Mirror your listener’s body language That is: their posture, movements, breathing rhythm and physical state. Why? Copying their behavior causes them to feel similar to you, which in turn will lead to your listener starting to copy you in response  The idea is to align your movements and body image with the other person’s demeanour. Mirroring or reflecting is not the same as imitating, but by presenting similar demeanours as the other person’s, they will subconsciously feel that you have much more in common with them than may actually be the case.  You can mirror or match language, including rate of speech and vocabulary used, breathing, voice, moods, movements, energy level, … For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 21