How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 198

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This a time when they are their lowest point in life. Especially if they are a teen battling with
depression. Because they are wasting away their most precious years, and this also makes them sad and
guilty because they feel like they can't just enjoy their life. Things you can do to make them know that
you are there is to obviously tell them that. You could say something like "I am here for you and
whenever you feel like talking I'll always be willing to listen and to try & understand." Sometimes, the
thing they need most is just a simple hug and a "I am here for you. Everything is going to be ok." Also
let them know that you value their friendship and that you care about their life. The depression can
cause them to feel worthless and not needed. They need to be re-assured that they matter to you and that
you want to help them through this. Let them know that they aren't weak or worthless because they may
feel like this because of society and it's view on this serious disorder. If you honestly mean it and can do
so with an open heart, offer to be there 24/7. Tell them that you welcome their phone calls at all hours.
You will rarely, if ever, receive a middle of the night call. But a sincere offer sends a message of
support that will be heard. If you see them in public places, make sure to say hi and notice them. Don't
pretend like everything is ok though, always remember that. Ask them how they feel today and be sure
to pay attention to them from time to time because they feel alienated from people when out in the
world. Do these things because they feel completely alone and isolated. This is a major side effect of
depression and causes lots of suicidal thoughts and tendencies, especially in teenagers. Hug them, hold
their hand, physical contact is good for people that are suffering from depression. It makes them feel
better and comforted, and safe, so do those things as often as you can. Tell them that you love them and
care for them. Give them a shoulder to cry on. Be there.
10. What not to do: Don't say you will be there for them and then not be there. This will be very damaging
to them. Because they have been let down once again. Also, do not ignore them. If they want to talk just
to chat or want to talk heart-to-heart, respond! They feel like you don't care in the least when they get
nothing from you. If you can't talk or are tired, say that. Don't ever leave them in the dark. This causes
them to worry even more than they already are. And takes a toll on their insecurity. Don't do things halfheartedly. One of the main reasons people get depressed is because they seem to feel like they care too
much or they love people too hard. And they get sad because they feel like they are the only ones being
genuine. So do not do things in vain with them. It will damage them greatly.
11. Be patient. Because depression is heavy, slow moving and unpredictable, it can frustrate and even anger
those who are trying to help. Remember that depression is a complex disorder, and try to understand
that the depressed person is not herself or himself right now. If your friend doesn't seem to appreciate
your efforts, or is pushing you away, don't walk off in a temper. Give them space or give them comfort
if they need it, and be there for them, no matter how much they believe you don't need to be.
12. Don't push too hard. If it makes your friend feel worse to face up to their problems, do not force them to
continue. Sometimes analyzing a person's past can make them feel worse about themselves and dredge
up past traumas. In this case, focus on how they feel now and how they want to be in future, and forget
whatever caused them to feel depressed. Leave it in the past until they are ready to either deal with it or
let it go. Be gentle. Depression can be dark, confusing and angry, but it can also be tender, hurtful and
full of sensitive tears. Don't yell or be rough-keep your voice and body language soft and don't force
your friend into anything.
13. Stay in contact. Check in. Call them just to call them. Check up on them occasionally, esp. at night
when the depression is at its worst. Text them occasionally just to say you are thinking about them and

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