How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 142

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! 11. Write a letter. Writing down your feelings can help you to sort them out. It can help more if you use positive "I messages" instead of negative ones. If you don't write, talk about your feelings with someone close or a therapist. Don't justify them, just talk about them, get them out, and listen to what you say. 12. Stay away from statements that blame you or others. Take responsibility for your actions, and your part of whatever went wrong, but do not indulge in blaming. The question of "And whose fault is/was that?" does not apply. 13. Develop a learning orientation. Life hands you difficulties so you can learn from them. People who have really easy lives fall apart when bad things happen because they have never learned how to cope or let things roll off their backs. Everything, even very painful times, can be used to learn better coping skills and to develop wisdom and perspective about life that will help you deal with many difficulties in the future. Whatever doesn't destroy you can serve to make you stronger. 14. Make a 'Thankfulness List'. Write down what you are thankful for, even basic things like having clothes and a warm place to sleep, then moving to people who care for you, and good things in your life. Being thankful is naturally healing and will balance out any trauma over time. 15. If the pain is lasting more than a week or so, or you've lost hope or you're thinking of suicide, you're either suppressing your pain or you have deeper unresolved issues that you need to complete. The strategies above are healthy ways to deal with emotional pain. Often as kids, we didn't use these strategies and instead incorporate the pain into our character, our subconscious. Said another way, when we're young, it's easy to let emotional pain define you. Often this needs to be undone, teased apart and handled in a healthy manner for us to be free. If a current incident upsets you too much or for too long, or your whole life is colored by a negative outlook, consider getting some help to unearth, re-examine and complete a prior incident. For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 142