How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 141

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4. Identify all of your feelings. Are you just heartbroken? Or are you angry, too? Maybe just the tiniest bit
relieved - which is also making you feel guilty? Do you feel betrayed? Insecure? Afraid? Giving some thought
to exactly how you are feeling can be very helpful in processing all of your emotions in the wake of a traumatic
or life-changing event.
5. Endure it. Things that cannot be cured must be endured. It sounds obvious, but sometimes, thinking of
emotional pain as if it were physical pain can be very helpful. Think of your broken heart just as if it were your
arm that is broken instead. A broken arm takes time to heal, and it hurts like crazy just after it's broken, even
after it's been set and casted. A few days later, it doesn't hurt so much. But weeks or even months later, if you
bump or jar it, that pain can come roaring back to life with a vengeance. You baby it a little, take care not to
aggravate it, and eventually, it's stronger where it was broken than it was before. You have no choice - you
can't cut off the arm. That won't make it hurt any less. You just have to endure it while it heals.
6. Talk to someone. There are times when it seems that the hurt you feel inside is just too deep to talk about.
You feel like no one could understand. Or maybe you worry because your loved ones didn't share your feelings
about whatever it is that's hurting you. Maybe they didn't care for your boyfriend, whom you just broke up
with, or they didn't know your friend, who passed away. You may be right - they may not totally understand.
But right now, it isn't being understood that you need. It's compassion. Your family and friends love you. They
see you hurting and want to help. Sometimes, if you will just try to talk out your feelings, say something about
what hurts, it can help start your healing. Letting someone put his or her arm around you and hearing them say,
"It's going to be okay" may not seem that helpful, but it really is, because it helps you feel you're not totally
alone. Realizing that someone wants to be there for you will help.
7. Don't let anyone tell yo