How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 126

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! Media Attention When someone dies by suicide or other unexpected causes, it may attract public interest. The inquest that may be demanded by law draws attention to the person who has died and to close relatives and friends. Attention from the media can be very stressful for bereaved relatives and friends, particularly where a death is reported in an insensitive or inaccurate manner. Stigma and Isolation Social attitudes to suicide are changing, but they may still limit the support that is available. The silence of others may reinforce feelings of stigma, shame and 'being different'. If others are embarrassed, uneasy or evasive about suicide, you may be left feeling intensely isolated. Opportunities to talk, remember and celebrate all aspects of a loved one's life and personality may be denied. A strong need to protect a loved one, and oneself, from the judgement of others may also be felt. A mother writing about her son's death pointed out that we have never been told what to say to someone who has had a suicide in the family. She needed to hear the same thing that might be said to anyone else who had experienced the death of someone close: "I'm truly sorry for your pain and is there anything I can do? If you need to talk about it, I am a good listener. I've got a shoulder to cry on." Needs: A group of Canadians bereaved by suicide were consulted and felt that they needed help and support to:         get the suicide in perspective deal with family problems caused by the suicide feel better about themselves talk about the suicide obtain factual information about suicide and its effects have a safe place to express their feelings understand and deal with other peoples' reactions to suicide get advice on practical/social concerns How to give support to a grieving person?          Be available. Remember that the individual is in a very different place emotionally. If you're not sure what to say or do, just ask. Say, "Do you feel like talking about this right now?" If they do, be there for them. Don't tell them you know how they feel, unless you've really been there. You don't have to know exactly what they are going through to offer support. If they don't want to discuss their heartache, don't press the issue. Let them know that you are there for them regardless. Don't treat the individual like an invalid. Encourage him or her to get out and get busy doing day-today activities. Be supportive but not smothering. Recognize that you may need your own support system. Sometimes you can give support, and other times you'll need to receive it. Don't expect yourself to always be the leader. Watch out for a shift into depression. If you see the individual withdrawing into an emotion fetal position, it's time to intervene. For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 126