How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 106

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The counsellor clarifies the question. This helps to educate the client regarding some of the criteria for goal
setting.
A clear goal statement has emerged, but the work is not yet finished.
Empathy lets the client know that the counsellor has recognized the client’s feelings and their importance.
The client confirms acceptance of the counsellor’s empathy.
An important part of goal setting is to assist the client to look at potential problems, including the relative
advantages and disadvantages of goal attainment.
Having identified this potential barrier, the client can address it — for example, by considering ways to
overcome it — or make a decision about whether the costs involved are too high.
The counsellor recognizes the client’s ambivalence.
Solutions to problems, however obvious, are often not acted upon because of such ambivalence.
(continued)
Dialogue
(continued)
Counsellor: Meaning that if you have to sacrifice time with your family to get ahead, you’re not interested.
(Client nods.)
Sounds as if you’ve made a decision, but let me play devil’s advocate. Suppose you cut back on your job and
lost a promotion. How would you feel about that?
Client: It would be hard on me, but I think not nearly so hard as what’s happening now. At heart I’m really a
family man. I’m certain of it. Family has to be number one. My career is important to me, but it’s my second
priority.
Counsellor: Let’s go back to your goal. What other problems do you anticipate?
(20 seconds of silence.)
Client: Here’s one. My family is so used to getting along without me, they’ve developed lives of their own. I
guess I can’t expect them to drop everything for me.
Counsellor: So how can you deal with that reality?
Client: That’s easy. I guess I’ll just have to negotiate with the family on how much time we’ll spend together.
Counsellor: One thought occurs to me. How will your boss react if you suddenly start spending less time on the
job? Do you think that’s something to consider?
Analysis
(continued)
The counsellor’s empathy provides a basis for insight.
Such responses ensure that the client will not