How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 105

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! Client: If possible, I’ve got to stop spending so much time at work. By the time I get home I’m so tired that I have no energy or motivation to be involved with my family. Counsellor: Okay, I think I get a sense that what you’d like is to be more committed to your family. To do that, you’d have to cut back on work. Client: Exactly. Counsellor: Just so we can be clear, can you try to be more specific? Suppose you’re successful. What will be different from the way things are now? Client: I don’t understand. What do you mean? Counsellor: Well, maybe you can’t plan it out exactly, but what do you see happening in terms of the amount of time you’d like to spend with your family? Try to be specific, so you’ll have something to aim for. Client: (Laughs.) Oh, I see. You want to nail me down and close the deal. You should be a salesperson. Well, I think it’s important that I free up the weekends and at least two nights a week. Sunday should be strictly family time, a time to do something with the kids. Counsellor: From your excited tone I get the sense that you’d feel really good if you could do that. Client: In my heart it’s what I’ve always wanted. Counsellor: A while back you used the words “if possible” when you talked about cutting back on work. What problems do you anticipate? Client: I’d like to try for a management position at the company, but everyone’s so competitive. I’ve got to put in the hours if I’m going to keep my sales above the others. And high sales is the first thing they look for when it’s time for promotion. Counsellor: You’re torn. To compete, you’ve got to put in the hours. But if you do that, it takes away from your time and energy with the family. That’s a lot of stress. Client: Now that you point it out, it seems obvious. I’ve been under stress for so long I don’t even think about it anymore. It’s clear to me now that the price of success is just too much. (continued) Analysis The counsellor recognizes the client’s positive motivation for change and uses it to make a transition to goal setting. Problem statements can often be reframed to make goal statements. The client makes a general statement confirming motivation for change. This undeveloped goal is a useful starting point, but it is not yet an operational goal. The counsellor seeks to contract with the client to work on goal setting. The counsellor uses the criteria for effective goals as a reference point. As the interview progresses, other questions will be asked that help frame the goal. There is no secret agenda to this, and the counsellor might decide to review the process with the client. The final open question reaches for client input and agreement. The client begins to identify an area for change. The counsellor requests more definition (goal specificity). This ensures that no assumptions are made. Often, as here, client goals are stated in the negative — that is, in terms of what the client would like to stop doing. The counsellor attempts to help the client put an emerging goal statement in behavioural terms by reframing the idea. This request for more specificity encourages the client to reframe the goals in positive terms by stating what will be done differently. The client is confused, but the relationship is strong enough that the client is able to ask for help. For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 105