How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching With Meta Communication | Page 22

What follows are some opening questions.
It is a good idea to have more than one opening line in your sleeve. You may need the second to restart the
conversation if the first one does not trigger the conversation.

A safe way to open a conversation is asking a general question that is directly related to the
environment where you are, or making a neutral statement and end by asking the other
person’s opinion:
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Hi, what’s up?
Hi, lovely day, insn’t it?
Hi, how do you like the weather today?
Bit crowded here, isn’t it?
Not much lively here tonight, eh?
Hi, how do you like the band?
Are you also waiting for the bus to …
Looks like the train is going to be late again.
Nice music, isn’t it?
Shopping time again?
Sigh … I shall be glad when this week is over! And
you?

You can smoothen the approach with a neutral preopening:
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Sorry, do you have a light for my cigarette?
Sorry, can you tell me what time it is?

A simple “yes” or “no” need not be a bad sign, but the longer
and more personal the answer, the easier it will be to continue
the conversation and the better your chances are. The best
answer you can expect is personal, informative and ending
with a question.

Asking somebody for advice or help is another great way for opening a conversation:
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Excuse me; What do you think of this t-shirt, should I buy it? I'm not very good at the whole fashion
thing
I’m sorry, I'm new in town and can't find my way around; Could I have directions to the best ...?"
Do you know at what time is the next bus to …
Long time no see!

You shouldn’t really think that your words must be the start of a flirtation.
Nope: all they need to convey is your interest and your desire to start a conversation. In this way you save
everybody the risk of causing offence and the humiliation of a direct rejection in case the chemistry just isn’t
there.
At the start her body-language will teach you more about your chances of success than the actual reply: is
she nodding, smiling, leaning forward, taking on an open posture, … ?

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