How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Starts With Non Violent Communication | Page 15

Clearly expressing how I am without blaming or
criticizing

Empathically receiving how you are without
hearing blame or criticism

OBSERVATIONS
1. What I observe (see, hear, remember,
imagine, free from my evaluations) that does or
does not contribute to my well-being:

1. What you observe (see, hear, remember,
imagine, free from my evaluations) that does or
does not contribute to your well-being:
"When you see/hear . . . "

"When I (see, hear) . . . "

(Sometimes dropped when offering empathy)
FEELINGS
2. How I feel (emotion or sensation rather than
thought) in relation to what I observe:

2. How you feel (emotion or sensation rather than
thought) in relation to what you observe:

"I feel . . . "

"You feel . . . "
NEEDS

3. What I need or value (rather than a
preference, or a specific action) that causes my
feelings:

3. What you need or value (rather than a
preference, or a specific action) that causes your
feelings:

" . . . because I need/value. . . "

" . . . because you need/value. . . "

Clearly requesting that which
would enrich my life without
demanding

Empathically receiving that which
would enrich your life without
hearing any demand
REQUESTS

4. The concrete actions I would like taken:
"Would you be willing to . . . "

4. The concrete actions you would like taken:
"Would you like to . . . "
(Sometimes dropped with
offering empathy)