How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Starts With Non Violent Communication | Page 14

Everyone has choice and is responsible for their own actions, words, thoughts,
attitudes, beliefs, and even the feelings their thinking causes.
1. No one can make another person do anything.
2. No one can make another person happy, sad, angry, or hurt.
3. No one can cause another person's response.
We are not responsible for what happens to us, but we are responsible for our response to it.
4. We can't change other people but we can change how we respond to them.

3-Ds of Jackal

3-Rs of Giraffe

Jackal is about DESERVING. Who
deserves punishment or reward? Who or
what is right or wrong? Jackal is for
CORRECTING.

Giraffe is about REMEMBERING.
We are all interconnected do unique.
People enjoy most, enriching life.
Giraffe is for CONNECTING.

Diagnosing

Respecting

judging others or self as good or bad, right
or wrong; categorizing; analyzing;
criticizing; Inducing Shame

others and self, knowing we all are acting
to meet our needs

Denying Responsibility

Taking Responsibility

blaming others, including use of language
that obscures choice, such as "I had to…"
Inducing Guilt

for our own actions, beliefs, feelings, and
thoughts

Demanding

Requesting

as though there is one right way,
threatening or punishing those who don't
follow one's desires Inducing Fear

and accepting "yes" or "no" as the answer,
as a gift