How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 186
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
If each member of the family is interdependent on other members of the family it stands to reason that
dysfunction with one will affect the whole. Effective communication is an important lesson that family
systems psychologist incorporate into group and individual family therapy sessions. To create an effective
solution to any dysfunction or problem in the group dynamic requires effective communication so that all
members of the group or family are in touch with each other.
For example, the mother who commits to more and more tasks in order to compensate for her family's
overextending commitments may stretch herself to the limits because she lacks the ability to communicate
how stretched thin she is. Instead, she promises to do more and more, exerting increasing emotional and
mental stress upon herself when she cannot meet all the commitments she is making. This leads to
disappointment and disagreement in the family. When other members of the family express their
disappointment, this impacts her already damaged sense of self-worth leading to a vicious cycle that may
result in depression, generalized anxiety disorder, substance abuse and more. In every way, however, the
family is not happy.
Therapists teach effective communication skills and the importance for mom to let the family know she is
overextended and that she either needs help or they need to rearrange priorities in order to break out of the
circular causality of this family's problems.
Effective communication allows a family to dialogue on their problems, concerns and feelings without
lashing out or feeling obligated to resolve the problems being shared. A large portion of effective
communication resides in active listening, a skill that must be learned.
Communication patterns and processes are often major factors in preventing healthy family functioning.
Faulty communication methods and systems are readily observed within one or two family sessions. The
family therapist constantly looks for faulty communication patterns that can disrupt the system.
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