How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families

 RESTRUCTURING The procedure of restructuring is at the heart of the structural approach. The goal is to make the family more functional by altering the existing hierarchy and interaction patterns so that problems are not maintained. It is accomplished through the use of enactment, unbalancing, and boundary formation.  SHAPING COMPETENCE The family therapists help families and individuals in becoming more functional by highlighting positive behaviours.  USE OF SILENCE A strategy that is generally used only after most other strategies have failed for one reason or another. Silence can also be an effective tool at the beginning of a session, if the conditions warrant it. Pre-emptive tactics, such as the involuntary client schema developed by Walter and Peller, are designed to encourage the client to communicate openly, thereby avoiding the therapist’s use of silence. If the use of silence becomes necessary, the therapist should inform the client of the reason and should make it clear that the client is welcome to speak and begin a conversation. The use of silence should not be confused with a pause in the interview process, which is intended to be momentary. The pause serves to give the client time and psychological space to think especially if the therapist’s question involves something painful. Silence, instead, is a strategy that brings the therapist’s questions to a grinding halt. Silence may also be an effective tool at the beginning of the session if conditions warrant it. For instance, if an involuntary client is totally nonresponsive and does not care to communicate at all, then employing silence as a strategy at the beginning of the hour is understandable, though not usually the case. In dealing with the involuntary client, early options should be presented that include the use of an interviewing schema, such as the one discussed earlier by Walter and Peller, or any other pre-emptive tactic geared to involuntary clients. When all attempts yield little or nothing and the therapist surmises that the client is maintaining a silence even after being made aware of the consequences of not having future sessions, it may be time for the therapist to introduce silence into the interview. Before embarking on extended periods of silence, the therapist should inform the client that, for the time being, silence will prevail only because there has been no real communication, but if the client cares to speak and begin a conversation, that will be welcomed. Once the strategy of silence is implemented, a staring contest will usually ensue. Three Examples of Preparatory Statements Prior to the Use of Silence Example 1 Therapist: So far we’ve spent about 30 minutes together, and you’ve said very little. We’ve already discussed the consequences of your not coming to future sessions. Your parole officer or the court may decide to change your status. I’ll remain quiet for a while, and whenever you feel you’d like to say something to get things going, I’ll welcome your remarks. Example 2 Therapist: So far we’ve spent about 20 minutes together, and you’ve said very little. We’ve already discussed the consequences of your not coming to future sessions. Your spouse may decide to take action that may not please you. I’ll remain quiet for a while, and whenever you feel you’d like to say something to get things moving along, I’ll welcome your remarks. 275

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