How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching and Counseling in Difficult Circumstances | Page 30

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! L.E.A.P Four steps to successful communication (source: Dr. Xavier Amador, I’m Not Ill, I Don’t Need Help): 1) Listen to your loved one. Sounds simple enough, but more difficult then you would think. When you listen the goal is to gain an understanding of what your loved one wants, feels and believes in. The goal is to not just to listen but to learn. To listen without learning is pointless. You want to gain a full understanding of their experience, not yours of the illness and treatment. 2) Empathize Empathize with your loved one regarding their experiences with the illness and treatment despite how out of touch with reality they may sound to you. This would include listening and empathizing when they tell you they won’t take medicines. If you want someone to seriously consider your point of view, be certain that they feel you have considered theirs. 3) Agree Agree on a common ground. Work on observations together, while remaining neutral, to discover what motivation the person has to change. Common ground always exists between the most extreme opposing positions. “What happened after you stopped taking your meds?” vs. “This happened because you stopped taking your meds”. 4) Partner Partner with your loved one. The aim of this step is to help you collaborate on accomplishing the goals you have agreed on. 1) Listen 1) What to learn by listening a) Their beliefs about having a mental illness. b) Their attitudes on medications. c) Their concept of what they can and cannot do. d) Their hopes and expectations for the future. e) Cognitive deficits caused by the illness. 2) How to listen effectively to someone with a mental illness. a) Set aside a time to talk Set aside time to talk, such as after dinner, going for walk, while smoking etc. During difficult times, sit close to the person, not face to face (can increase paranoia), and attempt to share a couple of words without pressure or an agenda. If you are the type that insists of getting something accomplished then let your accomplishment be that you were just there. Although this seems pointless, it builds trust and openness. What to do during difficult times 1) Sit side by side other than face to face. 2) Avoid direct eye contact. 3) Identify with rather than fight with family member. 4) Don’t rationalize, Share mistrust. 5) Postpone (temporarily) psycho-education. 6) Reassure. For [email protected] Property of Bookemon , do NOT distribute 32