How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 77

Managing The Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse is something that goes undetected much of the time. However, The effects of
emotional abuse run deep and a lot of the time, the victims of abuse choose to keep quiet because they
feel ashamed or as though it’s ‘not that bad’.
They may even say things such as ‘at least s/he doesn’t hit me’. Long-term exposure to emotional
abuse causes the victim to feel helpless and completely out of control with their lives.
This post attempts to list a few ways of managing the effects of emotional abuse and in no particular
order, they are as follows:

•Never minimize the problem; abuse is abuse, and if you are unhappy in a relationship, there is usually
good reason.
•While it’s not easy, you must tell yourself it is not your fault; no matter how ‘mean’, ‘stubborn’ or
‘rebellious’ you may have been.
•Telling those you trust the most is a great place to start.
•When you feel ready, it is time to take action; either you must leave the situation or seek help for you
and/or the abuser.
•Change is hard but if you want the abuse to stop, there need to be proper boundaries put in place; this
may mean temporarily moving out while the abuser works on their anger.
•It can be confusing to be hurt by the ones we love and remember, but one’s personal safety, welfare
and well being is paramount.
•Emotional abuse is not as easy to detect as physical abuse, so especially if children are involved; it’s
important to get out of the situation before more damage is caused.
•The abuser needs to recognize there are consequences for their actions. They can no longer be in your
life because it’s just going to keep being a series of hurt, pain and trauma.
•Emotional abusers will say things like ‘who else could put up with you?’ as a way to keep you afraid
and feeling as though you have no choice but to stay. There’s a need to develop some form of courage
to rise up to this challenge because there are friends, families, organizations out there to support you.

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