How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 76

Barriers that Prevent Women from Leaving The victim of domestic violence also faces many of the following barriers that prevent her from leaving her abuser. Fear  Fear of physical harm  Fear of threats  Fear of harassment  Fear of making abuser angrier  Fear of living alone or being alone  Fear of losing children  Fear of losing house, car  Fear others will blame you  Fear of the unknown  Fear of financial problems without him  Fear a change in standard of living  Fear of deportation  Fear no one believes you  Fear of the court system Love  Still loves the abuser  Commitment to the relationship  Sex, affection, and kindness during non violence times  Companionship  History together  Hope it's going to improve  Hope he'll change Emotional  Low self-esteem  Being emotionally exhausted  Loneliness  Guilt  Self-blame for the abuse  Feeling like a failure  Feeling defective  Feeling unwanted by others   Not wanting to lose his family Not wanting to be excluded from social functions Abuser  Uses mind games  Uses crying  Uses threats of suicide  Uses his power and his family's power  Uses his Mr. Nice Guy image  Uses promises  Uses apologies Children  Pressure from children who want their dad  Believes it is best for children  Custody issues  Need childcare Support  Nowhere to go  Unaware help is available  No support system  Isolated from support Needs  Need insurance  Need financial support  Have health/disability issues More  Not identifying abuse  Normalize abusive behaviors  Abusive cycle is familiar  Others accept violence as okay  Pressure from others  Preserve abusers reputation  Religious beliefs  Social status  Security  Having hopes and dreams  Same sex partners  Knowing its okay to leave Change  Not wanting a divorce  Not wanting to be a single parent  Not wanting to look for someone else  Not wanting to leave pets  Not wanting to grieve  Not wanting to start over  Not wanting to change life style http://www.mchenrycountyturningpoint.org/powerandcontrol.html 75