B"H
from a personality disorder, her hands are rattling; she's a
paranoid schizophrenic.
As she stands within her silent terror, she thinks anyone ca n
know word for word every letter of verbal deliberation going o n
inside her head; they hear the sounds taking place within her
mind. Hours later, she has been searched and finally rele ased;
neither allowed to make a phone call or even offered a glass o f
water. She is sure she's being followed, and her phones will be
tapped, mutters incongruent disputations of the presumed
castigation by passers -by who she knows are suspect of he r
innocence. When there's a knock at the door or the phone rings
she worries, it may be investigators wanting to subject to her to
interrogation. When she goes to bed, she gets the feeling that
ants are crawling upon her body, can't get to sleep but is awake
well before dawn, having already arisen of sleep from her sleep
a number of times in the middle of the night.
On the e motional level, paranoia causes susceptibility to rea l
or conceived insult, untowardly behavior, in fracted sentence
structure, impatience, hysterical verbalizations, depression and
suppression, seclusion and boredom with nothing to do at ho me,
and as such become a pity monger; insecure, defensive, and
irritable. At the physiological level; irregular breathing,
neurotic tics, increase of heart rat e, delusional perception o f
images and sounds, overwhelming tension typical of a fighting
mood, and positioning herself in the posture of attack. It
behooves us to know, no? How does one determine whether he's
caught in a fit of paranoia? There are stress points in our
character beyond which the workings of the mind go haywire.
Any move ment at any conjecture could bring one to the brink o f
insanity, and one push and its ga me over.
Say for instance, while running circles through the mazes o f
survival she beco mes impatient, but "cannot live " without
making her visit to a physician, having had to stand the whole
length of a n hour and 45-minute bus ride until arriving at his
office, and etcetera - what does this feel like to a schizophrenic ?
The question might be asked, if our normal healthy behaviors
are not categorized mental illness. In the olden days, the
"milk man" used to bring us bottles of fresh milk, while in
exchange he took the used bottles. Nowadays and the consume r
receives produce; not export quality, picked before ripe, and
stored in a carton within "gas chambers" until artificially
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