We walked in to Texas Oncology for the seventh treatment, hoping the results came back and I wouldn’t have to do another round of chemotherapy. When the doctor came in I was not sure what to think of the look on his face. The tumor had shrunk a little, that was a good thing I thought until I heard the … BUT.
The room grew cold, and dark.
The cancer cells were hyperactive meaning they were growing at a faster rate than before. After consulting with other oncologist, they agreed I would have to change to a new treatment called RICE. This was more of a process than just a change in chemotherapy drugs. First, they would remove some of my stem-cells. Because the new chemotherapy will kill of most of the stem-cell, a transplant would be necessary. This would require me to be admitted to the hospital overnight. I would have to go through this process two maybe three times with three weeks between each time.
I just sat there. My heart stopped. I have to be away from my babies overnight? I looked at Chad. He had the same shock and hurt that I felt on his face. It was like looking into a mirror.
Wouldn’t you know the night before the first treatment, BW was up all night with an earache. She had just celebrated her second birthday. I was in tears. I had to go to the hospital for the first round of the new chemotherapy, while someone else took her to the doctors.
I felt cheated and slighted. “God, I wanted to be a mama and I can't be a mama today.”
The eight-year-old Christian girl inside me knew God was good and God was beside me …
The mama side of me raging, “I don't like this. I don't want to do this today.”
We were a little confused, would be an understatement. When we got to the hospital for the first treatment everything had changed. Chad and I, both thought I would do the new chemotherapy treatment and then have the stem-cell treatment.
BUT... this hospital said they don’t do the stem-cell transplant there. Why was I going to be there overnight?
We found out when I wasn’t admitted until 4:30 on Friday afternoon and released at 2 AM on Sunday.