I want to walk through life, like we walked through Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico.
I said this to a couple of friends during our monthly get together when we share a meal, encourage and pray for one another and laugh a lot. I long to continue to trust in God like my husband and I did when God allowed us to be in Puerto Rico when Hurricane Maria hit in September. We were there celebrating our five-year wedding anniversary. We tried to get out when the hurricane quickly began to strengthen, but with no luck. All we had was our faith and trust that God would get us through. No amount of money, could get us home and He took almost everything from us that we normally rely on for communication and entertainment. Internet, cell phone service, TV – all gone. We did have a sturdy house for shelter, comfortable beds, a generator for after the storm and food to last us a few days. When the storm was over, although we couldn’t see what lay ahead of us in getting home, we trusted in the One who would get us there. And He did. He led us in even the smallest of details, getting us home way earlier than we should have, and providing for us every single step of the way.
In sharing this with my friends, I meant that I want to walk through life with the same kind faith and trust we experienced in Puerto Rico. So that when the storms of life come, our trust wouldn’t be based on the storm, but on the One who created the heavens and the earth, the wind and the waves. He is the One who enters the storm, walks on water and says Come.
Yet in sharing this with my friends, I didn’t realize what the weeks ahead would bring.
Just about a month later, I made a life-altering decision that makes our faith in the hurricane seem like a grain of sand. For several months, I had felt strangely unsettled as my heart’s passions kept clashing with my life’s realities. Then, on November 9, I had a profound God-moment on an airplane. I heard Him whisper, If you knew what I was doing, you would step out in faith. That was immediately followed by me turning to my office manager who I was traveling with and saying, “I am not 100% sure of this, but I think I am going to be transitioning out of the organization.” Although my comments were laced with fear, I was met with words of encouragement and counseled to trust that where He leads, He provides.
After praying about the decision overnight, I decided to take a leap of faith: I would transition out of my job in the new year so that I could focus more on the passions that God had placed in my heart years ago. It was a decision I never could have made if I didn’t believe that God was saying Come and that He provides where He leads – even when it seem impossible.
I wish that I could say that I have been modeling trusting God well over the past couple months. Some days I am clinging to that trust that He will provide and take care of my family just like He took care of every detail when we were in Puerto Rico. But then there are days when, although I trust where He is leading me, I don’t have the trust that He will provide for us. That happened this week, as we were looking at a stack of medical bills that needed to be paid, while fully aware of the fact that in less than a month’s time, our family will lose most of my income.