one whole organism. The blending of habits,
behaviors and personalities doesn’t happen
over the night. As a matter of fact it takes a
good bit of time. And really, by the time one
milestone is performed to mastery, there is
another one waiting in the wings to master.
Just think about a baby learning to
become mobile. To that baby, coordinating
two different legs, arms, and a torso, so that
an entire body can move is a daunting task. So
it is with your marriage. Making your marriage
mobile, a vehicle that can move from one
stage of life to the next with ease takes practice, repetition, and a lot of falling down and
getting back up. But, you can’t try to measure
how soon you reach a marriage milestone by
comparing it to someone else’s. All marriages
are unique and will reach different milestones
at different times.
As a matter of fact, your marriage is
woven together by different seasons which
are stitched together by different milestones.
So, while you may be in the toddler years of
your marriage—trying to catch the rhythm
of each other’s stride so that getting from
moment A to moment B will be easier—
another couple is in the teenager years of
their union, where they are trying to clarify
the parameters of their marriage and develop
their own marriage identity separate from
their parents, their friends and the people
they see on TV.
My point, friend, is this. The marriages
you see that you think are working so well,
have just either reached a milestone, mastered a milestone, or is approaching a new
milestone. Their marriage is transitioning just
like yours, you just haven’t been made privy
to the work and practice that’s taking place
underneath. Take a deep breath and know for
sure that the most important part of navigating your marriage milestones is recognizing
that they will always be there. It’s nothing out
of the ordinary. Once you acknowledge that,
you’ll be able to pray, research, and utilize
tools that will help develop your marriage with
every milestone.
—DiAnne Malone
About the author: DiAnne Malone is the
Founder of “Who’s That Lady—Discovering
Your Inner Bling”. She teaches African American
Studies at the University of Memphis. She
also teaches public speaking, literature, and
English composition at the Memphis campus
of Lancaster Bible College. She is a published
author of fiction, nonfiction and poetry, as well
as a fanatical lover of God and family. She is
married to Isaac Malone, who is a full time youth
minister. Together they have three children:
Neko-14, Quincy-10, Layla-5. Email DiAnne at
[email protected]. Read her
blog at http://www.diannemalone.com/blog
Marriage Milestones: Your marriage is woven together by different seasons
which are stitched together by different milestones.
www.pneupathforliving.com 35