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Additionally , these behaviours may be visible among those who are not yet certain of their own sexual identity , or who have a negative attitude to their sexual orientation , or who are open about their orientation but are afraid of how society will react . In all these situations , boys and men who experience sexual violence may be particularly unwilling to report their abuse .
In general , men and boys rarely report sexual violence that they have experienced . This is especially true of boys and men who define themselves as being outside the normative group of heterosexual men . Several reasons explain this : they include shame ; fear of social stigma due to discriminatory attitudes and gender stereotypes ; fear that they will not be believed ; inadequate national legislation ; lack of services ; and lack of access to justice . 51
As mentioned earlier , it can be difficult for men to see themselves as “ a survivor ” because they feel it is “ incompatible with being a man ”. This becomes even more complicated if they are also unsure of their own orientation , and do not have good gay- , bi- , or trans-role models who can tell them that the feelings and reactions they experience after sexual violence or abuse are normal reactions to an abnormal event .
“ Many male survivors are afraid ( often with justification ) that they will not be believed or will be held responsible for the acts they were forced to submit to . Helpers should therefore make clear that they believe what the survivor has told them and encourage him to understand that he was not complicit in his abuse . It can also be helpful to tell survivors that guilt and shame are common and foreseeable reactions to abuse and trauma .”
KEY TO KNOW
Fear of being stigmatised and branded as weak , gay or even paedophile has a profound effect on male survivors . This fear will be even greater if the person who has experienced abuse comes from a homophobic society . In some societies , the motivation behind sexual violence may actually be to deprive the survivor of his or her heterosexual status . This is a vicious circle . When male survivors are unable or unwilling to report abuse , it strengthens the taboo and the stigma .
As a result of the above , there is generally lower awareness of sexual violence against men and boys , and sexual crimes against men and boys are underreported . Consequently , we have less information about the extent of sexual violence against men and boys , and generally know less about it . ( See also section 2.7 )
2.7.4 Culturally adapted help
A survivor ’ s cultural and religious background will influence how he understands the world , himself and his reactions . As a helper , try to understand a survivor ’ s situation , his culture , religion , country of origin and ( war ) history , because this information can help you understand his trauma . However , be aware that it is easy to generalise cultural knowledge ; do not overlook the individual dimensions of his experience .
Since each individual has a personal relation to his culture , check with the survivor whether your knowledge of his culture is relevant . Help him to find connections that make sense to him , between his experiences and his symptoms and problems . Since we live in a globalised world , many societies today are cross-cultural . We are influenced by traditions , norms , and values from all over the world , and it is not always easy to determine what is typical of a place . It is important to keep this in mind when meeting survivors , to ensure they feel understood as individuals .
Of course , it is impossible to understand every person ’ s cultural background , and it is not necessary to do so in order to provide good help and support . Perhaps it is most important to be open to the fact that social behaviours and expectations differ , and to acknowledge that you too