8 8
INTRODUCTION suffering and hardship and has a future . For survivors of sexual abuse , managing daily life can require very great strength and determination .
We have also made an editorial decision on the use of the pronouns “ he ”, “ she ”, and the genderneutral pronoun “ them ”. We have chosen to use “ he ” in this manual , while acknowledging that some people may identify with a gender other than their birth gender .
1.9 Introduction to five stories about boys and men exposed to sexual violence
Aim . To understand the stories and how we can use them as well as other metaphors .
We tell these stories to help both helpers and survivors to understand survivors ’ experiences and reactions . Some survivors may find it difficult to open up and tell their personal story . To receive help and assistance , survivors do not necessarily need to share their own story . They can recognise their own trauma and reactions through the stories presented here . As mentioned , not everyone will experience the trauma reactions we describe .
Therapeutic metaphors are stories or images that amaze , inspire or open up new thoughts . They are simple , effective tools for teaching and learning . Metaphors and stories contain an implicit meaning . They allow people to go beyond the direct narrative : because they create spaces of imagination , help us to see what we have not yet seen ,
“ To receive help and assistance , survivors do not necessarily need to share their own story . They can recognise their own trauma and reactions through the stories presented here .” to understand the world better , and give our experiences meaning . Because they exist outside us , they can assist us to talk about personal issues we find difficult to discuss .
It can be helpful on several levels to deal with a problem metaphorically . Because a metaphor or story is distanced from the real experience of the survivor , it seems less intrusive , enabling the survivor to relax somewhat . When helpers employ metaphors or stories , they often say they are “ externalising ” – lifting a theme from inside to outside . Metaphors and stories enable survivors to examine painful experiences and emotions from a more detached perspective , so that they are easier to understand and deal with . They make difficult topics safer to touch .
In ‘ Mental health and gender-based violence ’, MHHRI ’ s manual for helpers who support female survivors , we adopted a Butterfly Woman metaphor to describe how women react to traumatic sexual violence . In this manual , we use a dragonfly to represent the process that male survivors go through after abuse . Like the Butterfly Woman , a dragonfly has wings that can symbolise what lies in the past and in the future . After trauma , survivors often find it is difficult to be in the present - to be here now . The present is invaded by memories of the past and by anxieties about the future : it seems that the evil that happened can happen again . In essence , helpers try to assist survivors to remain in the present , so that ( put differently ) neither the past nor the future invade their body .