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In this exercise , the child lists what the “ houses ” below should contain . House of worries
House of good things in my life
House of dreams about the future
Discuss all the houses thoroughly .
4.7.9 My engine
The helper says to the child :
HELP AND ACTION
Imagine you have an engine inside you that drives you along like a car . To stay on the road , cars must adjust their speed . If the road is winding , they must slow down . Also , on steep hills ! Our engines do something similar . When they are running slowly we feel tired and it can be difficult to focus on tasks . At other times , we have a lot of energy , we race around and it can be difficult to sit still . When we are learning things , the engine needs to run at the right speed – not too slow and not too fast . Then we can hear what others are saying and take in information we are given .
We also have an alarm system that activates automatically when something threatens us . It allows us to respond quickly and appropriately to sudden changes in our situation . If we are afraid or feel threatened , our energy immediately surges , making us ready to flee or fight . If we cannot resist or escape , however , our bodies tend to shut down . They slow right down , just as an animal plays dead if it cannot escape a predator . This can be an effective defence . We don ’ t feel as much pain , and immobility may help us to hide . In a way we also hide in our minds . We try not to experience what is happening . Sometimes we escape into fantasy : we let ourselves feel that we can decide what has happened or is going to happen . All of these are ways to protect ourselves .
So , when a child is sexually abused , the engine may go very fast if the child tries to escape , but may slow down to the point where the body does not respond at all . Many children who have been assaulted feel that they did not do enough to stop their abuse , and that this means they even wanted it to happen . In fact , their alarm system was trying to protect them . They responded in a normal way to danger . There is nothing wrong with them .
Sometimes our alarm systems go off when there is no danger . False alarms happen for many reasons . We imagine things in the dark , or misunderstand someone ’ s behaviour . We even like to awaken our alarm system a little bit by listening to exciting stories or watching frightening films . Some children who have been sexually abused cannot turn their alarm system off , however . They feel they can never relax , must always be vigilant , prepared for bad things to happen . They often feel restless , angry , unable to concentrate , out of control ; or they feel exhausted , even numb .
When the alarm system has been used a lot , it is easily activated . A small incident , even a thought , can set it off . This is frightening and very stressful . You are tired when you need energy , and restless when trying to sleep .